The Past Eleven Days

I can’t account for the past eleven days.

Every new year I decide that this is the year I’m going to chronicle every day.  Not that anyone would be terribly interested in it, but more for me.  I want to be able to look over a year and remember it.  The ups and downs, the ebbs and flows.  If nothing but to just look at it and see how far one comes in a year.  Yet year after year I’d go at it for a couple of days, then nothing.  Then come back as some sort of blog phoenix only to die out again.  This concept of perfection has been such a theme in my life.  I mean if it isn’t done to a T, perfect the first time, then count me out.

Screw perfection.  I’m tired of perfection.  If it’s perfect first time out, how do you learn?  I’m learning more and more every day to forgo perfection in hopes of failure if only just to learn.

Bring it on.  I may blog everyday, every other day, every fifth week but my only resolution is to be present in my own life instead of some kid pouting in a corner because it didn’t go right the first time.

I have a feeling I’m not in art class anymore…

Today was the first day of classes at Wallace State, so I started my online class tonight.  First assignment was to read the syllabus and email the teacher saying I understood everything.  I downloaded my syllabus for Business Statistics 271.  It contained the normal, “You must complete all assignments” etc etc.  Then I got to the Course Content Goals:

Define the word statistics and distinguish between descriptive statistics and inferential statistics. List and describe the four levels of statistical measurement. Organize raw data into a frequency distribution. Develop a stem-and-leaf chart. Draw a histogram, a frequency polygon, and cumulative frequency polygon. Summarize numerical information using charts. Compute the mean, median, and mode for both ungrouped and grouped data. Describe the characteristics of the mean, median, and the mode. Compute the weighted mean. Identify the position of the mean, median, mode for symmetric and skewed distributions. Compute various measures of dispersion for both grouped and ungrouped data. Discuss the Empirical Rule and Chebyshev’s Theorem. Compute and interpret the coefficient of variation and the coefficient of skewness. Explain the three classifications of probability. Calculate probabilities using the rules of addition and multiplication. Determine the number of possible outcomes of an experiment using the rules for permutations and combinations. Define the terms probability distribution and random variable. Distinguish between a discrete and a continuous probability distribution. List the characteristics of a binomial and a Poisson distribution and compute their probabilities. List the characteristics of the normal distribution. Use the normal distribution to approximate binomial probabilities. Describe and employ the five-step hypothesis testing procedure. Conduct a hypothesis test about one or two population means when the population standard deviation is not known and the sample size is large or small.

Wha?

Discuss the Empirical Rule and Chebyshev’s Theorem-what?

List the characteristics of a binomial and a Poisson distribution and compute their probabilities-who?

I was a bit taken aback and a touch nervous.  But I did notice it mentioned something about drawing a histogram.  I thought THANK GOD.  It will be the most ornate, expressive histogram EVER.

Whatever a histogram is.

Toast to 2009

I never was a party person. Then again, I was never invited to a party. But if I was invited, and if there was a toast to be made, this would be mine. It’s rather long and may be the reason I was never invited to the party 😉 – Kelly

Here’s to all of our mountains: past, present and future. May they enjoy their place in the sea. (Matthew 17:20)

Here’s to faith, hope and love being action verbs and not buzz words.

Here’s to forgiveness, not just for others, but more importantly for ourselves.

Here’s to being our best cheerleader, instead of our own worst critic.

Here’s to moving on.

Here’s to letting bygones be bygones.

Here’s to polite selfishness, putting yourself first in a nice way.

Here’s to purging your MySpace friends list without warning.

Here’s to purging people from your life. It’s needed and very healthy.

Here’s to never being content. I feel if you are content, you never grow. You never push yourself forward.

Here’s to meeting in the middle.

Here’s to realizing you can’t please all the people all the time and being totally okay with that.

Here’s to peace. Real, true, unbelievable peace. (John 14:27)

Here’s to goals. Screw resolutions.

Here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson.

Here’s to being humble. Realizing you aren’t the smartest person in the room. However, if you are the smartest person in the room, you need a bigger room.

Here’s to a world free of egos but not Eggos.

Here’s to open doors. May we never simply walk through, but burst through, taking full advantage of every opportunity.

Here’s to blind faith even if it’s really really really blind.

Here’s to stupid questions. My dad once said, there is no such thing as a stupid question. If someone spent their time to ask (and maybe even think), you should always honor him/her with a polite response. This is the easiest way to make friends.

Here’s to ignoring good advice and the consequences it brings.

Here’s to the letter “U” always following the letter “Q”.

Here’s to speaking up and out instead of thinking in and down.

Here’s to family being redefined as a group of people who love you unconditionally, not limited to people you are related to.

Here’s to saying no and the freedom that comes with it.

Here’s to letting love rule.

Here’s to you.

Here’s to me.

Here’s to 2009.

Hard Days Night (the 11/30/08 purge)

• Why are people so atuned to people’s failures?  It seems as though people enjoy hearing about another person’s misery because it just makes themselves feel better.  I got a second job, for no other reason than I want the extra money.  End of story.  I don’t have to explain.  But for the people at the second job (many whom I worked with for nearly ten years) automatically assume I lost my other job.  It’s like some people just wait for you to fail.  I don’t get it.
• So I worked six days straight this week at the second job (only three days at the first one) and I can not remember how I use to do this full time.  Granted, I’m a cashier and on paper, that doesn’t seem like a lot of work.  But you would be surprised.  Constantly lifting, bagging, scanning and thinking takes a lot out of you.  Especially the thinking.
• I volunteered to work Thanksgiving.  I knew I was off from AMC (the first job) so I was clear for WM (the second job) all day.  I needed the hours worse than the stuffing.  Of course people who were off that day and could spend that day with their families, chose to spend it shopping instead.  And none of the items purchased was a necessity.  Everything seemed to be bought out of boredom.  I wonder if that is where most of the financial problems steem from: boredom.  Instead of facing issues we buy things to waste time or fill a whole that can not be filled by stuff.  It doesn’t work so you buy more stuff.  There is no peace in material things.  Only dept.
• I still want an iPhone though.
• And I spent $26 on Twilight stuff.
• I feel great about it, though!
• I love it when people pitty me for working on a holiday.  I simpily respond, “If you weren’t here, I wouldn’t be here either.”
• I need to stop listening to the nagging doubting voice in my mind.
• I need to sleep.
• The only difference between me and everyone else is that I say out loud what others only think.  Sometimes, this is considered rude.
• Clicking your heels three times does not work in Birkenstocks.
• Working two jobs is a downer.  It amounts to a fourteen hour day.  I hate missing out on outings and such but I hate debt more.
• Technology is the new sports car.  So many lame lame lame lame lame boys whip out cell phones and brag about ring tones and brands like many use to brag about cars.  Shoot me.
• Should my heels hurt this bad? 😦
• I’m begining to hate the color navy.
• I submitted my art to a Kenya relief art show.  Compared to the other pieces it seems…. immature.  It looks like student art, to me.  Of course everyone else thought it was fantastic.  But sometimes I don’t know if they aren’t just being nice.
• There’s that pessimistic voice again.
• My spell check is being very lieniant tonight.
• See, I know that is spelled wrong.
• Anyways, I haven’t sold my art because I felt so attached to it.  But it’s time it paid the bills.
• Most of my spending sprees are because of a 6’4″ boy who amazed me five years ago.  Since then I have ditched school, skipped work, traveled miles across four states just to watch him play.  I wouldn’t take it back even though now I don’t know if I’d see him again.  It’s as though music is secondary now.  His music brought him credibility, recognition from his idols and peers, and the best fan base anyone could ever hope for.  He seemed to be so smart, level headed and above the tablioids and gossip blogs.  I wonder what changed.
• I guess some people get addicted to fame and attention.  No one would ever admit that.  But it’s this “battered celebrity” syndrome.  They pretend to be so put off by the paps, yet crave that attention.
• You know if a celebrity really wants to be left alone, don’t live in L.A.
• LA don’t love you
• You can always tell when someone is promoting a movie.  Suddenly their love life becomes center stage… you know I need to work where there no gossip mags.  Seriously.
• One more rant and I’ll close: It is so fustrating when you have championed behind an artist for long time, trying to turn people on to his music, downloading and burning live shows, to have the artist become nothing but a b-list celebrity.  Now, when you try to tell someone about the artist, they respond to “Oh, isn’t he/ didn’t he date so and so?  I didn’t know he sings.”
• I’m done.

Perfection

I am a perfectionist to the umpteenth degree.  When I start a project, I have it so well played out in my head that if the slightest snag comes up, I give up.  If it can’t be done perfect, then it can’t be done.  The only thing worse than my imperfection perfection is the beating I give myself when I fail.  So lately I don’t even try.  It won’t be perfect so why try?

w00t new blog

This is a new blog in honor of my etsy shop opening!  http://etsty.com/kellywithay

So I plan to keep this blog up and away from the grave yard of three-posts-at-the-max blogs 🙂